--- title: "Kegels for Delayed Ejaculation" description: "Why pelvic floor work cuts both ways in delayed ejaculation, when strengthening helps, when it makes things worse, and what to do instead." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "name": "Paul R. Nelson", "jobTitle": "Licensed Mental Health Counselor (NY), Licensed Professional Counselor (CT)", "email": "paul@franktalk.org", "telephone": "+1-646-535-3133", "url": "https://franktalktherapy.com/about", "sameAs": [ "https://www.instagram.com/franktalkwithpaul/", "https://maps.google.com/?cid=1028244695779196009" ], "worksFor": { "@type": "ProfessionalService", "name": "Franktalk Therapy & Consulting", "url": "https://franktalktherapy.com" }, "hasCredential": [ { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "name": "Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC)", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "State", "name": "New York" } }, { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "name": "Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)", "recognizedBy": { "@type": "State", "name": "Connecticut" } }, { "@type": "EducationalOccupationalCredential", "name": "AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator" } ] }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "ProfessionalService", "name": "Franktalk Therapy & Consulting", "url": "https://franktalktherapy.com", "email": "paul@franktalk.org", "telephone": "+1-646-535-3133", "areaServed": [ { "@type": "State", "name": "New York" }, { "@type": "State", "name": "Connecticut" } ], "founder": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Paul R. Nelson" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "Do kegels help delayed ejaculation?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Sometimes, and sometimes they make it worse. Pelvic floor work helps when the muscles are weak or poorly coordinated. When the floor is already chronically tight, which is common in men who have spent months straining toward orgasm, more squeezing adds to the problem rather than solving it." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How do I know whether mine are tight or weak?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "You often cannot tell on your own, which is the honest answer. Persistent pelvic or perineal aching, discomfort after sex, urinary urgency, and a sense of gripping through the whole session point toward tightness. A pelvic floor physical therapist can assess it properly, and that referral is worth it before starting a strengthening routine." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Should I be pushing harder during sex?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "No. Bearing down, clenching, and thrusting harder are the reflexes most men adopt, and they are the ones that most reliably interfere. Ejaculation is not produced by effort, and straining moves your attention away from the sensation that actually builds arousal." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "What helps instead if squeezing is not the answer?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Learning to release. Down-training the pelvic floor, breathing that reaches the abdomen rather than the chest, and staying with sensation instead of driving toward a result. For many men with delayed ejaculation the useful skill is letting go, not gripping." } } ] } ] --- [![FrankTalk Therapy](/__l5e/assets-v1/791852f2-474d-4294-bfbf-c5ac6322a947/franktalk-logo.png) ](/) [Home](/) Services [Therapy for Men](/therapy-for-men)[Sex Therapy](/sex-therapy)[Consulting](/consulting)[Couples & Partners](/couples-and-partners)[What We Help With](/specialties) Guides [All Guides](/guides)[How to Last Longer in Bed](/guides/how-to-last-longer-in-bed)[How Long Do Men Actually Last?](/guides/how-long-do-men-actually-last)[The Start-Stop Technique](/guides/start-stop-technique)[The Squeeze Technique](/guides/squeeze-technique)[Pelvic Floor Training for Men](/guides/pelvic-floor-training-for-men) Service Areas [Where We Serve](/areas-served) New York [Online Therapy in New York](/online-therapy/new-york) Connecticut [Online Therapy in Connecticut](/online-therapy/connecticut) Practice [About Paul](/about)[What to Expect](/what-to-expect)[Fees & Insurance](/fees-and-insurance)[FAQ](/faq) [Waiting Room](https://doxy.me/franktalktherapy)[Talk to Paul](/contact) # Kegels for Delayed Ejaculation [Home](/)/ Kegels for Delayed Ejaculation Guide Pelvic floor exercises get recommended for nearly every male sexual complaint, usually by someone who has not asked which direction the problem runs. For delayed ejaculation, kegels are not automatically helpful. For some men they are the wrong instruction entirely. This page explains what those muscles do in ejaculation, when strengthening makes sense, when it backfires, and what tends to help instead. ## What the pelvic floor does in ejaculation Ejaculation involves rhythmic contraction of the muscles around the base of the penis and the perineum, including the bulbospongiosus and ischiocavernosus among them. They also contribute to maintaining an erection. Coordination matters more than raw strength. Those muscles need to contract on cue and, just as importantly, release between contractions. A floor that never releases is not a strong floor; it is a stuck one. The general orientation to this muscle group is in [pelvic floor training for men](/guides/pelvic-floor-training-for-men). ## Why it cuts both ways here For premature ejaculation, the logic of strengthening is fairly clear: better control over the muscles involved gives more room to manage the reflex. Delayed ejaculation is a different problem. A man who has spent a year straining toward an orgasm that will not arrive has usually been clenching the entire time. He is holding his breath, tightening his abdomen, gripping his glutes, and pushing. That is a chronically overactive pelvic floor produced by effort. Handing that man a strengthening program adds tension to a system already carrying too much. Some men in this position report the same pattern from other sources, including perineal aching, discomfort after sex, and urinary urgency, and more squeezing does not improve any of it. Conversely, some men with delayed ejaculation genuinely do have weak or poorly coordinated muscles, particularly after prostate surgery or with a deconditioned pelvic floor. For them, targeted work can help. The difference is real and it is not something to guess at. ## How to tell which side you are on Signs pointing toward tightness rather than weakness: pelvic, perineal, or lower abdominal aching that lingers; discomfort during or after sex; urinary urgency or a stop-start stream; a sense that you are gripping hard throughout sex; and difficulty telling whether you have actually relaxed the muscles after a squeeze. Signs pointing toward weakness: a history of prostate surgery or pelvic injury, poor bladder control, and difficulty producing any noticeable contraction at all. If the tightness list describes you, do not start a strengthening routine. Ask for a referral to a pelvic floor physical therapist, who can assess muscle tone directly rather than inferring it from a symptom list. ## What tends to help instead Release, not recruitment. Learning what a fully relaxed pelvic floor feels like, and being able to get there deliberately. Breathing into the abdomen instead of holding the breath. Unclenching the jaw, glutes, and stomach during sex, which most men do not notice they are doing. Then the harder skill: stopping the pushing. Delayed ejaculation is not solved by working harder, and the effort itself is often part of what maintains it. Attention on sensation rather than on progress is the shift that changes things, and it is trainable. For most men, the bigger lever is elsewhere anyway, usually the arousal conditioning described in [idiosyncratic masturbation and delayed ejaculation](/guides/idiosyncratic-masturbation), or a medication effect covered in [SSRIs and delayed orgasm](/guides/ssris-and-delayed-orgasm). Pelvic floor work is a supporting player here, not the treatment. The clinical page is [delayed ejaculation](/specialties/delayed-ejaculation). Sessions are available to men in New York and Connecticut. This page is education, not treatment, and reading it does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are in crisis, call or text 988. FAQ ## Frequently asked questions Do kegels help delayed ejaculation? Sometimes, and sometimes they make it worse. Pelvic floor work helps when the muscles are weak or poorly coordinated. When the floor is already chronically tight, which is common in men who have spent months straining toward orgasm, more squeezing adds to the problem rather than solving it. How do I know whether mine are tight or weak? You often cannot tell on your own, which is the honest answer. Persistent pelvic or perineal aching, discomfort after sex, urinary urgency, and a sense of gripping through the whole session point toward tightness. A pelvic floor physical therapist can assess it properly, and that referral is worth it before starting a strengthening routine. Should I be pushing harder during sex? No. Bearing down, clenching, and thrusting harder are the reflexes most men adopt, and they are the ones that most reliably interfere. Ejaculation is not produced by effort, and straining moves your attention away from the sensation that actually builds arousal. What helps instead if squeezing is not the answer? Learning to release. Down-training the pelvic floor, breathing that reaches the abdomen rather than the chest, and staying with sensation instead of driving toward a result. For many men with delayed ejaculation the useful skill is letting go, not gripping. Still have questions? [Contact us](/contact) Book a Session ## If more effort were the answer, you would be done by now Working out which direction your problem actually runs saves months of practicing the wrong thing. [Talk to Paul](/contact) Related ## Keep reading [ ### Pelvic Floor Training for Men What those muscles do, how to find them, and how to train without overdoing it. Read more ](/guides/pelvic-floor-training-for-men)[ ### Delayed Ejaculation Treatment Options The whole landscape, and a sensible order to work through it. 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