--- title: "Sex After Prostate Cancer | Therapy for Men" description: "Sex therapy after prostate cancer with Paul Nelson, LMHC, CSE, himself a prostate cancer survivor. Rebuild intimacy, identity, and sexual function." lang: en json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "Person", "name": "Paul R. 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Nelson", "url": "https://franktalktherapy.com/about" }, "founder": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Paul R. Nelson" } }, { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "How soon after surgery should I start therapy?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Sooner is generally better. Many men start within the first few months after prostatectomy, while penile rehabilitation is getting underway. Waiting a year or two 'to see how it goes' is common. It is usually not the best call, because avoidance patterns are easier to prevent than to reverse." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "My erections will probably never fully come back. Is therapy still worth it?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes, and arguably even more so. Some of the most meaningful work in this practice is with men whose erectile function has been permanently changed, building a rich sexual life that doesn't depend on the way things used to work. That is completely, absolutely possible." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Can my partner come to sessions?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Yes, and it's often the single most useful thing you can do. Even one or two joint sessions typically shifts the dynamic. There is less silent grieving on both sides and more actual collaboration on rebuilding intimacy." } } ] } ] --- [![FrankTalk Therapy](/__l5e/assets-v1/791852f2-474d-4294-bfbf-c5ac6322a947/franktalk-logo.png) ](/) [Home](/) Services [Therapy for Men](/therapy-for-men)[Sex Therapy](/sex-therapy)[Consulting](/consulting)[Couples & Partners](/couples-and-partners)[What We Help With](/specialties) Guides [All Guides](/guides)[How to Last Longer in Bed](/guides/how-to-last-longer-in-bed)[How Long Do Men Actually Last?](/guides/how-long-do-men-actually-last)[The Start-Stop Technique](/guides/start-stop-technique)[The Squeeze Technique](/guides/squeeze-technique)[Pelvic Floor Training for Men](/guides/pelvic-floor-training-for-men) Service Areas [Where We Serve](/areas-served) New York [Online Therapy in New York](/online-therapy/new-york) Connecticut [Online Therapy in Connecticut](/online-therapy/connecticut) Practice [About Paul](/about)[What to Expect](/what-to-expect)[Fees & Insurance](/fees-and-insurance)[FAQ](/faq) [Waiting Room](https://doxy.me/franktalktherapy)[Talk to Paul](/contact) # Sex After Prostate Cancer [Home](/)/ Sex After Prostate Cancer Specialty ## What it is Prostate cancer treatment, whether that is prostatectomy, radiation, hormone therapy, or some combination of them, leaves behind a set of sexual side effects that most men are handed as a brochure and a "you'll figure it out." Erections often change or disappear for months or years. Orgasms feel different. Some men experience urinary changes during sex. Sex drive can shift dramatically, especially on hormone therapy. And underneath all of it is a bigger question: who am I sexually now, and is this how it stays? The medical team is focused on the cancer, and that's exactly what they should be focused on. But the sexual and identity fallout is real, it's usually undertreated, and it doesn't fix itself with time alone. It responds beautifully to structured work. But that work has to actually happen. The Approach ## How therapy helps I bring something to this work that most therapists can't: I've lived it. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 46, and everything I couldn't find in the recovery phase went into building FrankTalk.org. What was missing was honest information, real community, and someone who could talk about sex after treatment without flinching. That site eventually became this practice. You will not have to explain the basics. The work covers penile rehabilitation coordination (pumps, injections, and medications, including what's actually worth doing and when), rebuilding sensation-based intimacy while erectile function is recovering or has been permanently changed, and adapting what sex looks like so it stays a real part of your life rather than an increasingly distant memory. If your partner is in the picture, bringing them in helps enormously. Most partners have been quietly grieving too and don't know where to put it. Alongside the sexual piece, we work on the identity piece. Prostate cancer is one of the few illnesses that fundamentally rearranges a man's relationship with his own masculinity, and pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone. There's real work to do around who you are now, what sex means in this chapter, and how to build a sexual life that's honest about the changes and still fully alive. You are not the first man to sit with this, and you are not the only one figuring it out right now. There is a whole community of us, and there is real, structured work that helps. You're not alone. FAQ ## Frequently asked questions How soon after surgery should I start therapy? Sooner is generally better. Many men start within the first few months after prostatectomy, while penile rehabilitation is getting underway. Waiting a year or two 'to see how it goes' is common. It is usually not the best call, because avoidance patterns are easier to prevent than to reverse. My erections will probably never fully come back. Is therapy still worth it? Yes, and arguably even more so. Some of the most meaningful work in this practice is with men whose erectile function has been permanently changed, building a rich sexual life that doesn't depend on the way things used to work. That is completely, absolutely possible. Can my partner come to sessions? Yes, and it's often the single most useful thing you can do. Even one or two joint sessions typically shifts the dynamic. There is less silent grieving on both sides and more actual collaboration on rebuilding intimacy. Still have questions? [Contact us](/contact) Book a Session ## Ready to work on this with someone who has been there? A private, 50-minute session with a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and prostate-cancer survivor. Meet online, from anywhere in Paul's licensed states. [Talk to Paul](/contact) Related ## You may also want to read [ ### Erectile Dysfunction (ED) Therapy The most common sexual side effect of prostate cancer treatment, with its own dedicated approach. Read more ](/specialties/erectile-dysfunction)[ ### Low Libido & Desire Issues Especially relevant if you're on hormone therapy, or noticing desire shifts after treatment. Read more ](/specialties/low-libido) ### Appointments are generally available: Mondays 5pm–9pm, Fridays 9am–6pm, & Saturdays 9am–1pm ![FrankTalk](/__l5e/assets-v1/0e01afa1-3c85-4757-973c-932f613785ce/resources_footer-logo.png) You have come to the right place to find help! - [](https://www.instagram.com/franktalkwithpaul/) - [](https://maps.google.com/?cid=1028244695779196009) ### Explore - [Home](/) - [About Paul](/about) - [Therapy for Men](/therapy-for-men) - [Sex Therapy](/sex-therapy) - [Consulting](/consulting) - [Couples & Partners](/couples-and-partners) - [What We Help With](/specialties) - [Guides for Men](/guides) - [What to Expect](/what-to-expect) - [Fees & Insurance](/fees-and-insurance) - [FAQ](/faq) - [Areas Served](/areas-served) - [Join Waiting Room](https://doxy.me/franktalktherapy) - [Contact](/contact) ### Contact - Email: [paul@franktalk.org](mailto:paul@franktalk.org) - Call Anytime [(646) 535-3133](tel:+16465353133) - Community site [www.franktalk.org](https://www.franktalk.org) ### Email Newsletter Subscribe to our newsletter to receive the latest news about FrankTalk Therapy Company I am not a robotSign Me Up! © Copyright 2023/2024 by [FrankTalkTherapy.com](https://franktalktherapy.com) [Privacy](/privacy.html)[Terms](/terms.html)[Cookies](/cookie.html)[Disclosures](/disclaimers.html)[Good Faith Estimate](/good-faith-estimate.html) Talk to Paul